True Friends are God's Angels

Mar 15, 2004, 12.02am IST
Janina Gomes.

In the alienated and fragmented world we live in today, the human heart cries out for friendship or affirmation from others. That is because we are meant to see in the human faces we encounter, the face of God.


Tell someone that I am here, is the cry of the human heart. Fernando Silva, who runs a children’s hospital in Managua, reports the incident of a lonely child in the hospital in search of a human hand to grasp. One Christmas eve, when he stayed in working late into the night amidst revelry, he heard footfalls behind him. On turning, he recognised the sick child who had no one in the world. Fernando drew close to the child and touched him lightly with his hand. The child whispered: “Please tell someone that I am here”.


Not everyone experiences such loneliness and heartbreak. But we all experience the need for a healing, empathetic presence in our lives. We relate to a friend to whom we can truly reveal ourselves. That is because, as Carlos Valles says, we all go around with thick veils on our faces, afraid to expose our reality.


Friendship calls for a removal of all masks. Explaining the need for sharing our personal stories, Carmen Caltagirone says: “All those persons who have impacted our lives, those who have loved us and those who have refused our love are within us. In each of us there lives a mother, a father, a betrayer, a childhood friend, a teacher. The deepest realities of human life cannot be defined in intellectual terms. We can at best, touch on them through stories”.


Human stories can only be shared through intimacy, which is a psychological necessity of life. Friends complete us, they define us and act as chisels that shape our lives. Friends build us up through affirmation and gentle confrontation, filling a space in our lives. This space is filled not only through intimacy but also by respecting an affective distance from those we are closest to us. There are times for talking and interaction and times for silence and reserve.
Closeness invites friends to act as personal prophets in our life. Friends are also like messengers from God of unfailing, timely and constant love. They come to us just in time and when we need them most. Abraham Heschel, the great Jewish theologian, narrates how a child responded to the story in scripture about the sacrifice of Isaac. Upon hearing that the voice of the angel stopped Abraham from killing Isaac, the child began to cry. Puzzled by the tears, the rabbi said: “Why are you crying? Isaac was saved.” The child replied: “But, rabbi, what if the angel had come a second too late?’’ The rabbi comforted the child by saying: “An angel can never come too late”. Friends are sent by God when it is never too late.
There is the story of two Moabite women married to two sons of Naomi in the Old Testament who both died leaving them widows. Whilst Ruth remai-ned by her mother-in-law’s side, when her husband died, her sister-in-law, Orpah, parted company with the mother-in-law on her husband’s death. In life, as Carmen Caltagirone says, some people journey only part of the way with us as did Orpah. They reserve the right to leave, while others like Ruth prefer to stay.
The life of Jesus on this earth was one of deep and staying relationships. Jesus always called people by name. And to call a person by his or her name is to enter into a deep relationship with them. The less we package the gift inside us, the more lasting and durable the friendship will be.