Art of Cultivating Loving Detachment

Nov 3, 2004, 12.00am IST
SEEMA BURMAN.

Burdened with attachment towards his relatives, Arjuna was reluctant to wage war. Krishna tells him that a man who has become free from attachment, fear and anger is a man of wisdom; that true freedom lies in not doing what the mind craves for, because the mind makes us its slave. Once the mind desires something, it is stored up as vasanas and these vasanas get fulfilled one day, even if it means taking many births to fulfil it, but there is no surety that after fulfilment its outcome will bring happiness.


Swami Sivananda says that when someone dies, people cry because they are attached to the body of the person. Love spreads bliss while attachment brings sorrow. Some sanyasis leave their families to get rid of attachment, yet, they get attached to their guru and ashram. Renouncing everything, they get strongly attached, even more than householders. All objects that cause attachment are nothing but hindrances in the achievement of the goal of self-realisation.


Through life, we believe ourselves to be the body and refuse to rise above it. As for the mind, it gets used to expecting rewards. As a baby, we laugh, smile and play with everyone. But as we grow older, we expect a smile to be returned. Once the mind learns to work without any expectations it gets filled with purity and becomes free. Actually, each of us is a free, detached, realised soul, the only hindrance being attachment to the body.


Sage Vasishta advises the 14-year-old Prince Rama that to rid oneself of desires, the mind needs to undergo training. Only when the mind has practised to be unshaken in adversity, not yielding to pleasures, can one master one’s mind. He explains that one must shed the ego, the feeling that ‘I did this’ or ‘I did that’ and realise that it is the Supreme that is functioning through the body; that one cannot lift a limb without this power. That is why we need to perform duties without attachment, ego or desires. Then it leads to spiritual evolution. Ramakrishna Paramhansa said, "Resign everything to God. Then there will be no more confusion. Then you will realise that it is God who does everything". He advised devotees to turn the mind away from attachments and towards the Divine.


Krishna says: "Constantly thinking about something gives rise to attachment and then comes longing, followed by anger, delusion, loss of memory, ruin of discrimination and finally destruction" (Gita 2.62,63).
Even a minor desire can lead to major destruction. King Bharat renounced his kingdom to meditate in solitude but got so attached to a baby deer that while dying, his mind was on the deer. This resulted in his being reborn as a deer. People attach themselves to people, places or objects; it becomes their very reason to live. Being detached is understood as becoming indifferent. In a household some people sit in a dark corner with no interest in anything. That is not detachment.


Explaining the true meaning of Krishna’s detachment, Swami Ranganathananda says that the capacity to detach oneself from the sensory system is present in humans alone. Such people are able to love all. Love truly flows from within, with true detachment. The mind is the only instrument with which we can deal with the world or spiritual life. So, the mind must be kept pure, fresh and strong. One can develop tremendous detachment and yet have concern for the welfare and happiness of all — not the kind of detachment that makes us apathetic and unconcerned.