Reflections: Death At My Doorstep

Feb 2, 2005, 12.00am IST
Khushwant Singh.

We do not talk of death lightly — it is regarded as tasteless, ill-mannered and depressing. But death is an essential fact of life which makes no exceptions: It comes to kings as well as beggars, to the rich and the poor, to saints as well as sinners, the aged and the young. You simply cannot turn a blind eye to it and fool yourself into believing that death comes to other people but will spare you. It will not. It is best to prepare yourself for it and when it comes, welcome it with a smile on your lips.


Alfred Tennyson wrote: "Sunset and evening star/ And one clear call for me!/ May there be no moaning of the bar/ When I put out to sea.../ ...Twilight and evening bell,/ After that the dark!/ And may there be no sadness of farewell/ When I embark".


I am now over 90 years old and am aware that the hour of my tryst with destiny is drawing near. I have given a lot of thought to it. Being a rationalist, I do not accept irrational, unproven theories of life-death-rebirth in different forms as an unending process till our beings mingle with God and we attain nirvana. I do not accept the belief that while the body perishes, the soul survives. I do not know what the soul looks like; neither I, nor anyone has seen it. Nor do I accept the Hebrew, Christian and Islamic belief in the Day of Judgment — heaven and hell. I go along with the poet Mirza Asadullah Khan Ghalib: "We know what the reality of paradise is;/ but it is not too bad an idea to beguile the mind".

I accept the finality of death; we do not know what happens to us after we die... I once asked the Dalai Lama, "Your Holiness, I cannot accept your belief in reincarnation. There is no scientific evidence to support it." The Dalai Lama narrated stories of children who remembered things about their previous existence: names of parents and places where they were born... I interrupted him. "Your Holiness, these are infantile fantasies of children brought up in Hindu, Jain, Buddhist or Sikh families where they hear elders talking of previous life and next life. Can you give me an example of a Muslim child recalling his earlier existence?" The Dalai Lama roared with laughter and replied: "You have a point, but if I did not believe in reincarnation, I would be out of business!"


I have never subscribed to the belief that nothing bad should be said about the dead. If people were evil in their lifetimes, death does not convert them into saints. Such falsehoods may be condoned when inscribed on tombstones but not in obituaries which should be without bias, and truthful. I have written lots of obituaries about people I admired and loved; I have also written about people I detested and loathed. I did my best to be as even-handed as I could about all of them ... Very few people have dates with death apart from those who take their own lives or are convicted by courts to hang. The old and the ailing may sense the day drawing near but never know exactly what day or time it will be... We must always bear in mind that death is inevitable.


Memento mori — remember you must die. Without brooding over it be prepared for it. The poet Asadullah Khan Ghalib put it beautifully: "Age travels at a galloping pace/ Who knows where it will stop?/ We do not have the reins in our hands/ We do not have our feet in the stirrups".

(Extracted from the author's 'Death At My Doorstep'.)