Learn to accept what you can't change

Aug 29, 2009, 12.00am IST
DEEPAK RANADE.

As intellectually evolved beings, we constantly analyse all events and endeavour to identify the underlying likely cause. This obsession for a cause extends even to actions or events of a past birth.


It compels us to look into outer space and implicate the movement of celestial bodies like stars and planets to serve as plausible causes.
Science has, to a large extent, been able to explain physical phenomena. But finding a cause for every mundane facile event might be taking things a bit too far. When the cause of suffering is diagnosed to be a person, it leaves one with a sense of victimhood. And along with it come anguish, resentment and a deep desire for retribution. This process continues unabated and over time becomes a stockpile of hate.

The feeling of hate, initially restricted to the individual, tends to be highly contagious and one day it could acquire epidemic proportions. All violence, racial discord and inter-personal strife are just manifestations of this perceived 'victimisation' that is derived from our obsession to somehow fix the blame.


Can our intellect be diverted towards fixing the problem? Can we, at the apex of the evolutionary pyramid, be redeemed from the curse of this blame game? Can't we accept events as just a pattern emerging in the kaleidoscope of life, the pattern which has no bias or machinations towards any individual being? In reacting lies a sense of insecurity, a sense of threat perception and inevitably a sense of being a victim of conspiracy. This approach only leads to further suffering. Constant threat perception is the genesis of insecurity. Over a period this induces metabolic changes in the body leading to a host of ailments.


We have the choice of continuously resenting whatever comes our way or equanimously accepting the same. Liberation is when we intelligently accept people and circumstances as they come. A state of zero resentment. Rather than asking 'why' it would be more prudent to question ourselves 'how'. How do i fix the problem?

The conspiracy theorists are also egotists because they believe that they are the obsession of the conspirators. Every person is leading his own life and solving his own problems. No one really has the time to target another individual to the exclusion of other activities.


Harbouring bitterness makes the person an eternal sceptic. Regret and unconditional apologies from the perceived perpetrator are celluloid events far from reality. What can be set right is neither the circumstances nor the other person but our (mis)understanding.
Memory is recorded in the dominant temporal lobe, which also houses the limbic system. The limbic system is one of the oldest neurological constructs and is responsible for all interactive behaviour by the organism. It is intricately interwoven with survival and procreation.

The limbic system is responsible for emotional templates as well. So it is possible that every byte of data stored is coupled with an emotional pixel as well. It may have its origins in survival mechanisms. Every person or object is recorded with an element of pleasure or pain to help the organism in future interactions. But then evolution of the frontal lobes in humans makes for finer data processing. It provides for intelligent acceptance of the vagaries of persons and events beyond the binary code of either pleasure or pain.

The writer is a neurosurgeon. E-mail deepakranade@hotmail.com