A loving relationship

Mar 29, 2010, 12.00am IST
SWAMI BRAHMDEV.


With consciousness we have created very beautiful concepts, and one of them is the idea of relationships.

Whatever we create, whatever we discover is to make life more comfortable, beautiful, peaceful and happy. We invest our mental, spiritual and psychic energies in building relationships.

The first relationship has to be with you. You must have a very clear relationship with yourself, knowing why you feel the way you do, why you think in a particular way and so on. The first step is to be aware of your own self.

Second, why do we want a relationship? Is it for happiness, for security? If that is so, the best source of what we call happiness and security is the Divine. So establish a relationship with the Divine. What is Divinity? Divinity is present everywhere, also in those you consider close to you. And having a close relationship with your psyche can give you everything you need.


In daily life, how do you find divinity in your spouse or companion, for instance? Be sincere and faithful. The key is to give without expectation. These things are possible if your understanding is healthy, if your consciousness is full of light and brightness.

How are relationships established? Even hunger can create relationships: you enter into relationships with food, don’t you? Grow with relationships, and at the same time remember that all possibilities are inside, they are not coming from the outside, what you are looking for outside you is inside you.


Your body is like a television set. It displays visuals all the time. So when you display negative things, it is in your hands to change the channel.


When we do meditation we are feeding the soul, and when you feel the hunger of your soul then constant meditation begins, and it becomes effortless. When your stomach is empty, all you think of is food, all your being is looking for food, but when you are full you don’t think about food at all.


The food for the soul is the Divine. Right now we are making an effort to remember the Divine, but when we start feeling the hunger, we will not have to make any effort; it will come naturally.


Aurobindo gives this concept of Divine life: he didn’t say that life is an illusion, that we have to run away from life, or go to the Himalayas. He just said that life is beautiful, and the future of life is life divine, sooner or later, when the psychic hunger starts. And life divine means that here, in this world, with these situations we have to awaken to the hunger of our being, listen and find that hunger. When we do that we will start seeing the Divine everywhere. Then there will be no ego.

Relationships sour primarily due to ego. Use your ego. But do not allow your ego to use you. It is a tool, if you know how to use it, it will build you and give you many wonderful things.
If the ego is using you, you will see ego everywhere. Only ego sees ego. Ego is without substance: a lack of knowledge, a lack of light. Hate is too much love. You never hate someone you don’t know. We call it hate but hate has also substance of love there. It is too much connection.

(As told to Sudhamahi Regunathan. Swami Brahmdev lives in Aurovalley Ashram, Raiwalla.)